• Birthdays are memory holes in brains
• Matt's lawn feelings should be made public
• War never changes, but the server does
• The korok seeds are poop too
• Some guy in Elden Ring wearing a toilet seat will sell you incantations
• Whiskey stones are bullshit
• The shampoo company Head & Shoulders should make a body wash called Knees & Toes
• John should not discuss the Sonic Bible even though he thinks it's funny there's a Sonic Bible

These of course are only specifics, because as we know Tom is right about everything.